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| Self-criticism by Lewis Warsh Winter 2003 I shouted & said things I didn’t mean. I lied to people I loved. I didn’t pay taxes for 20 years. I told my mother that my problems were all her fault. I stole money from my father’s wallet. I slept with women who were living with other men "If the father is a hero, the son is a brave man; if the father is a reactionary, the son is a bastard." Struggle with the waves in the middle of the current. Chase the exhausted enemy. Reported Missing by Lewis Warsh Wake from your dream, for a moment, & stare at your arm, asleep, an appendage, void of function, was it always there? Open a door & a stranger says: "Meet me at 9 at the end of the platform." My knees are trembling, like the first time we met, a VW camper navigating the curves of Mount Tam. Someone more sadistic than you turns to stone at the slightest touch. A drive-by shooting was reported to the local precinct & we arrived like eye witnesses to identify a suspect through a one-way mirror. Some kids standing on a street corner held their breath as we walked by. All I ever wanted was your attention, but I’m not going to beg for it this time around. I want to remember you, happy one minute, teary-eyed the next, "requiring maintenance," as you might say. I have something to give but it’s never enough, something ineffable that won’t disappear when no one’s looking. It’s time to trace your name on the icy window, to bend the prong of the fork until it snaps to attention like an ensign at the Naval Academy in the presence of a senior officer, one with a war wound whose own son died at sea. From the window, there’s an empty lot with a few scrawny trees— children circling bonfires like mechanical dolls of both sexes. Someone must invent a new way of longing that stretches from the Bronx into the outer boroughs, down streets with names like Metropolitan & Bedford, a different route, past a park lit up at night, & subway lines, the G, J & L, that go nowhere Lewis Warsh’s most recent books are The Origin of the World, Touch of the Whip, Ted’s Favorite Skirt and Debtor’s Prison (in collaboration with Julie Harrison). He is co-editor, with Anne Waldman, of The Angel Hair Anthology, and editor and publisher of United Artists Books. He teaches in the English Department of Long Island University in Brooklyn. |
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Out now: |
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The Rail invites you to a reading with Jason Flores-Williams and Brian Carreira, along with musical guest Steve Strunsky of the Lonesome Prairie Dogs. Thurs., Sept. 22, 8:30 p.m. Vox Pop--Flatbush, Brooklyn www.voxpop.net |
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OFF THE RAIL FALL 2005 at the Central Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library - Grand Army Plaza |
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The Independent Press Association-NY recently honored The Brooklyn Rail with the following awards: |